Destination Unknown, But I'm Arriving Soon...

I'm going global and getting my own URL - soon to be announced. I'm avoiding my own web servers as they are for work and my staff has access to them. I've been searching for a good provider and made a decision today. The new domain has been registered and I'm ready for departure...but in my typical squirrelly style, I have no idea when I'll be arriving....

Now I need a good asp or coldfusion blogging script. Anyone got any suggestions? Pros/Cons? PLEASE!!

Some more staff from the airline have been to my site...I know this because they have been searching Jett Allen and of course this site comes up. I'm struggling with myself, debating whether or not I'm ok with this. On one side I'm ok with this because I have nothing to hide. I’m an up front kind of guy and how I read on this site is exactly what I'm like in real life and on the plane. On the other hand, I'm worried that someone may become malicious and try to hurt me. This may be because of my tarrot card reading back in August by some passenger in the back galley.

I once turned off the ability of the search engines to come across my pages feeling that only the blogging community should access my thoughts and stories thorough links. I turned it back on and to this day, I don't know why. I'm still very new to this and sometimes I'm leery about opening my thoughts and feeling to random people over the internet. I force myself to get over it and write them out in my A.D.D. dyslexic blogging style.

Speaking of feelings, this morning my partner and I were discussing the gym issue and our therapist appointment next week. I'm scheduled to do training at the airline next week and it conflicts with our last appointment of couple therapy with Dr. Melfi. We discussed whether of not we should re-schedule it or just cancel it. We both agreed to cancel it. Then the topic of the gym memberships came up again. Months ago when we started couple therapy, one of my main issues was the fact that he had no outside personal contact besides me. My partner has only one friend and he only sees her maybe once every two months. Other than that, there is no one. Dr. Melfi suggested he go to a gym without me as this is a great way to meet other people and form friendships. I tried to get him to do this years ago but he brushed it off. Now coming from a therapist I guess it was more valid and idea to him.

He asked me today if we were going to join together. I said that I think it would be best if we went to separate gyms. I could sense that he was not comfortable with this. I said to him that if he would be more comfortable with me there then "ok" but to remember that my friend Daniel had indicated that he was interested in working out with me. I said that I have not had a chance to look at any gyms in the area of our office (he has) and that I was thinking of joining in January when the "New Years" specials are on.

Well he flipped out and started waiving his hands and stomping his feet. "God dammit I don't want to wait any more...." I calm him down and he could see the reaction on my face. I'm thinking to myself - let's see, the therapist said this would be a good thing back in August. It's now December and I feel like he is blaming the fact that he has not held up his end of the "therapy bargain" because of me. HOLD ON - was he not supposed to go BY HIMSELF? Was that not the point? So why freak out when I say that I want to join in January? Christ, we are not attached at the hip can he not do something on his own?

In my typical fashion I brush it off and say nothing. That's my problem. I think I might raise the issue tonight with him, but we have not made love since last Friday and if we end up arguing over this tonight it ain't going to happen. Tomorrow is our office staff party at our place and Saturday night we are out with my friends. So where are my priorities in this type of situation- do I talk to him tonight or brush it off like I always do just so that he is calm and happy?

I think need Dr. Melfi back on my speed dial or at least associated with the panic button on my car remote.