Friday, December 05, 2003

French Boys & Sleep Deprivation

Yesterday posted a link to some behind the scenes photographs of the French Rugby Calendar. Those pictures are très chaud and turned me on something fierce. You see, pictures like that, ones where the person is not posing are much more of a turn on for me then the standard porn pictures. They really made me want to drain the lizard but I had WAY too much filing on my desk. I think my straight male assistant walked in while I was viewing the images on my screen. Thank god for legal size folders..and thank god that I'm the IT Director/Owner so I can get away with it!

TorontoBoi called me to let me know that a group of friends were going to Woody's to have an early night of cocktails to celebrate D's 29th birthday. I really wanted to go as I cannot go out this weekend but my partner and I needed to chat about the mornings gym episode and I really needed some lovin' (see above). After shopping for some last minute supplies for tonight's staff Christmas party at out place, my partner and I have dinner and chat. He realized that his reaction yesterday morning was uncalled for and he apologized. Then we made love.

Now my partner knew that I wanted to go out with my friends yet I had not told him that. He had over-heard my conversation with TorontoBoi when he called me at work yesterday so my partner instinctively knew. Once the play towels were folded up and put in the washing machine, I knew it was time to tell my partner that I really wanted to go out. I had hummed and hawed over the course of the evening debating with my squirrels about going out and how that might seem to my partner after we just played nookums. I brought it up with him and we discussed whether or not I was being disrespectful and how we both felt about it.

By 10:45 I was out the door and on my way to Woody's.

Do you know how much I HATE street cars. They are the blood clots of the city. Always in my way when I'm in a hurry. I wanted to get out to the bar, have a quick dirrrty time and then head home. If it was not for the damn street cars I would have had an extra 20 minutes I swear!

Woody's was not good last night. It was Bugly - short for "but fuck ugly"

I made it home for 1:30 am and was back up this morning at 6:30 am. Desperate for a coffee when I reach the office, I hit StarBucks and totally get taken by some disabled person. I enter and this mentally challenged person come up to me and say in a very mumble voice "Remember me?"

I say "no, sorry. Have we met before?"

"Yup" he says.

At this point I'm having trouble understanding what he is saying because his obvious speech impediment is blurring his words. I think he said we met at the "Y". I've never been to the "Y"

After a few exchanged words with a lot of pleasant nods and smiles from me we end up at the counter together. Next thing I know, he has a coffee and takes off after telling the barista that I'm paying for his drink. Nice. I'm way too fucking tired to deal with it so I pay. He totally abused the disabled system and I'm not happy about it. Next time I see him I'm going to pull out his hearing aid and step on it.

Now, here is a little mpeg movie (DEFINITELY NOT WORK SAFE!!!!) that reminds me how not to give head. It also serves as a great way to induce a Christy Turlington diet like purge.

Now, it's off to lunch with him to discuss the finer points of a real blow job.....

Thursday, December 04, 2003

Destination Unknown, But I'm Arriving Soon...

I'm going global and getting my own URL - soon to be announced. I'm avoiding my own web servers as they are for work and my staff has access to them. I've been searching for a good provider and made a decision today. The new domain has been registered and I'm ready for departure...but in my typical squirrelly style, I have no idea when I'll be arriving....

Now I need a good asp or coldfusion blogging script. Anyone got any suggestions? Pros/Cons? PLEASE!!

Some more staff from the airline have been to my site...I know this because they have been searching Jett Allen and of course this site comes up. I'm struggling with myself, debating whether or not I'm ok with this. On one side I'm ok with this because I have nothing to hide. I’m an up front kind of guy and how I read on this site is exactly what I'm like in real life and on the plane. On the other hand, I'm worried that someone may become malicious and try to hurt me. This may be because of my tarrot card reading back in August by some passenger in the back galley.

I once turned off the ability of the search engines to come across my pages feeling that only the blogging community should access my thoughts and stories thorough links. I turned it back on and to this day, I don't know why. I'm still very new to this and sometimes I'm leery about opening my thoughts and feeling to random people over the internet. I force myself to get over it and write them out in my A.D.D. dyslexic blogging style.

Speaking of feelings, this morning my partner and I were discussing the gym issue and our therapist appointment next week. I'm scheduled to do training at the airline next week and it conflicts with our last appointment of couple therapy with Dr. Melfi. We discussed whether of not we should re-schedule it or just cancel it. We both agreed to cancel it. Then the topic of the gym memberships came up again. Months ago when we started couple therapy, one of my main issues was the fact that he had no outside personal contact besides me. My partner has only one friend and he only sees her maybe once every two months. Other than that, there is no one. Dr. Melfi suggested he go to a gym without me as this is a great way to meet other people and form friendships. I tried to get him to do this years ago but he brushed it off. Now coming from a therapist I guess it was more valid and idea to him.

He asked me today if we were going to join together. I said that I think it would be best if we went to separate gyms. I could sense that he was not comfortable with this. I said to him that if he would be more comfortable with me there then "ok" but to remember that my friend Daniel had indicated that he was interested in working out with me. I said that I have not had a chance to look at any gyms in the area of our office (he has) and that I was thinking of joining in January when the "New Years" specials are on.

Well he flipped out and started waiving his hands and stomping his feet. "God dammit I don't want to wait any more...." I calm him down and he could see the reaction on my face. I'm thinking to myself - let's see, the therapist said this would be a good thing back in August. It's now December and I feel like he is blaming the fact that he has not held up his end of the "therapy bargain" because of me. HOLD ON - was he not supposed to go BY HIMSELF? Was that not the point? So why freak out when I say that I want to join in January? Christ, we are not attached at the hip can he not do something on his own?

In my typical fashion I brush it off and say nothing. That's my problem. I think I might raise the issue tonight with him, but we have not made love since last Friday and if we end up arguing over this tonight it ain't going to happen. Tomorrow is our office staff party at our place and Saturday night we are out with my friends. So where are my priorities in this type of situation- do I talk to him tonight or brush it off like I always do just so that he is calm and happy?

I think need Dr. Melfi back on my speed dial or at least associated with the panic button on my car remote.

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

Schnitel Princesses

Sunday night my partner and I were watching "X-MEN 2" and around 9:30 pm the phone rang.

"Hello, Sissy SpaceChik?"
I say "Yes?"

The man on the other end says "Crew Scheduling calling, we have a flight for you if you are interested...Flight 872 leaving at 11:00 (1 1/h hours from now) to Frankfurt. There has been a delay and the we need to re-crew it"

"Humm.." thinking that I've been waiting all weekend for the airline to call and give me extra flying, which is when I can choose to work whatever flights they have available.

"Sure - send a limo to get me - what time do you want me there at?" I say.

The Screw Skeduler (damn that dyslexia) says "Anytime before 11 pm - they won't leave with out you."

Well, I put on my hoop skirt, poped a few Ativan and performd the bag drag of shame all the way to the airport for the late night dark and frantic trans-atlantic. It's amazing how fast I can pull myself together.

So off I go to Frankfurt in a matter of minutes that Sunday evening....thank gawd we did not drink any wine at dinner!
Well, I show up at the airport and the police had already been called because the passengers were LIVID about a 6 hour delay. Great I think...this is going to be a fun one tonight. Sure hope the first aid kit is loaded with bandages cuz I know I'm gonna slit my wrists.

The crew was about a sister express all the way to Germany!

As it turns out, the passengers were fine. Not a problem - oh - except for this princess in Executive First Class.

She calls me over and asks if we have a "pump thingie".

I'm like "A what?"

"You know, to blow up this" and she shows me her inflatable neck pillow.

I say "Oh..No, we don't have a pump for that...perhaps you could inflate it your self?"

"Oh no! I can't do that!" she wines.

"Um, sure you can - you just blow into that" I point.

"No..I can't do that" she drools.

"Yes you can"

"No I can't"

"Well you are going to have to if you want it inflated now aren't you?" I say with a pleasant smile ;)

"Please, can you inflate it for me? Other people have!" she says so innocently.

"Absolutely not. Here..put your mouth on this and blow - hard" I say laughing inside.

"Oh I don't think that will work..." she says confused.

"Sure you can...pucker you lips and blow the little stubby thing." I say.

She gives if a blow and voila, it starts to inflate.

"Well! Thank you!" she says.

"Not a problem..I learned that little trick early on in life." I say.

I walk away and whisper to myself - bet her husband is not going to be happy when he finds out she learned this trick from a flight attendant...on second thought...maybe he will.

On the layover, the 4 of us decide to go out to dinner and drinks. After dinner we draked our peppercorn filled asses to the local gay bar "chapeau clack". We actually stay in a very small town outside of Frankfurt so the local gay bar is about the size of my wardrobe. The 4 of us walk in and all 5 people in the place turn around and look at us. Nice I think.

Well we were a hit and those German boys will not forget us. After about a 1/2 hr after we make our red carpet enterance, this hunk of a 22 year old struts in and starts taking all the attention away from me. We instantly call him over and start chatting. He was in school to become a dentist and had a HOT body. Nights like this i wish i was single because he was packing some schnitzel that I would have scarfed down in a minute. He stayed with us for the evening and a good time was had by all. He had only eyes for me and knew he was getting nowhere (my squirrels have settled down you see) so he left alone. At 2:30 am we crawled back to the hotel, I popped some sleeping pills, 1 shot of gin and off to sleep I went.

Th way home was fun as well, One of the stewardesses retired on the flight so we had a party. The first Officer was cute and invited me to sit in the Flight Deck for landing. I think he wanted some lovin' from me but I don't do texas curly moustaches. Seeing as I'm in training to be do a pilot, I took him up on the offer to enjoy his skillful hands at the controls of such a bit tube.

I made a video of 747 landing in Toronto so have a look - the quality is poor but near the end you can see the captain put his hands on the reverse thrust and stop the big boy. Definitely not the "flick" method.

I also took a picture of the flight deck controls. Can anyone tell me what altitude we are at? The winner gets a visit from me to you local home town - all expenses paid by you. (all you flight attendants out there are exempt from winning).

Oh - BTW, Collin Farrell was on the flight.